Conjugals in Marriage

    Youngsters nowadays and those who are planning to settle,even those who is reaping the torment of break-up, must have a basic and solid understanding of how God designs marriage and how He intends it to last. Problem arose and families were broken because many neglect to accept what the word of God says about this. And if  ever both of you are in a situation of difficulties in your relationship, at least consider these things.

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      Marriage is a commitment of  a man and a woman to be together  forever. It is God’s ordained union between them (in the Lord)  1 Co.7:39 and an  honorable act (Heb.13:4) . I know you have many definition of marriage but let me just put some short details.

God’s Design

1. Man leaves his parents and shall CLEAVE unto his wife (Gen.2:24).

2. They shall be ONE (Gen.2:24). The woman was taken out of a man

  (Gen.2:23) and was brought back to a union to him (Eph.5:31)

3. God hath JOINED them as one (Mk.10:7-9)

4. None should put ASUNDER (Mk.10:9)

5. In BONDAGE to one another (Rm.7:1-3; 1 Co.7:27, 39)

6. Union is AS LONG AS  they are LIVING (Rm.7:1-3; 1 Co.7:39)

   ‘Till death do us part’

7. They must NOT seek to be LOOSED (1 Co.7:27)

8. They must NOT DEPART (1 Co.7:10)

9. They must NOT LEAVE /DIVORCE (1 Co.7:13)

10.They must be RECONCILED in cases of having problems    (1 Co.7:11)

11.They must NOT PUT AWAY each other (1 Co.7:12)

12.Abide with God in your calling (1 Co.7:20; 24)

13.They must PLEASE each other (1 Co.7:33-35)

    Love each other (Titus 2:4; Eph.5:28-33)

14.MAINTAIN honor (Heb.13:4)

15.Love as your OWN (1 Co.13:4-8; Eph.5:8, 33) Titus 2:5; 1 Pet.3:15.    

      If you love others (Rm.13:9) as yourself why not love your own?

16.Called to Peace (1 Co.7:15)

 

Ask yourself

Do you easily throw your clothes once it is folded? How about if it was stained? What if somebody tries to steal it from you?  ON THE OTHER SIDE,Do you want to keep your clothes clean and wrinkle-free? Will you protect it from thieves? How much more your marriage? What then is your attitude towards your marriage? Here are some conjugal for you to consider.

      Conjugal pertains to marriage or to partner. And in the university called Marriage, we can find this Conjugal existing in the word of God. We will use 1 Corinthians 7 which starts with verse 1

1Co 7:1  Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

      Indeed, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But it becomes good when God through marriage allows them in a beautiful union. There’s something magical in marriage which the couple can’t fully explain. And here are the Cs in a marriage life.

CLAIM

1Co 7:2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

  • Every man has his own wife, and the wife has his own husband. This concerns ownership. A man is entitled of only one wife, and so the wife is entitled with one husband. (Prv.5:15-19)
  • The man owns the wife and the wife owns the man. Both has claims to each other they can possess as their own. The husband cannot claim himself as his own because he’s owned by his wife, and vise versa.
  • Fornication and adultery is giving claims to others. It is sharing a stolen ownership and both should avoid it.

 CHARITABLENESS

1Co 7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewisealso the wife unto the husband.

  • Due benevolence here concerns their love, their affection. Both should give it to each other. It may be overlaid with symbols but symbols may fade and lost and love which is from within, if it is true, will remain
  • It suffereth long,  is kind, envieth not, vaunteth not itself, not puffed up, Does not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, not easily provoked, thinketh no evil,Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things and it  never fails. (Also Ephesians 5:25;28-29; Titus 2:4)

COMMAND

1Co 7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

  • Power concerns authority, of command. The husband cannot claim authority of his own body because he’s owned by his wife, and vise versa.
  • The husband must not overpower or abuse his wife, and so the wife also  to her husband.

COITUS

1Co 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other

  • ‘Defraud ye not one another’ concerns obligation, their intimacy. In Gen.4:1 the word used is “knew”. Intimacy pertains to knowing each other in a deeper, private and personal way.

 CONSIDERATION

1Co 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except …..

  • The word ‘except’ tells us of limits, or bounds- the considerations. There are no unlimited acts without exceptions.
  • Each partner respects one’s inability for a certain time or situation. Both should be considerate.

 COMMUNICATION

 1Co 7:5…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

  • ‘with consent for a time’ speaks of their communication. Both are consulting each other. Both contributes and agrees to come up with a decision. Both respects what others have to say.

 

CONSECRATION

1Co 7:5…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

  • This concerns spiritual maturing. Both should be growing spiritually. Both should devote time to God and to activities relating to faith in Him.
  •  There must be no conflict if they are one in the faith

CLOSENESS

1Co 7:5…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

  • It concerns their fellowship. Togetherness is not only in bed times but even in best times, or in bad times.Relationship continues and never stops
  • Marriage is keeping yourself  together

 

CAUTION

1Co 7:5…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

  • Marriage is a constant combat against the wiles of the enemy. There are lots of temptations in both sides designed to separate a couple. Both should stay solid to each other. Both are warned, both should be careful, both should be a wife-keeper and a husband-keeper because of the enemy.
  • When one is tempted, the other partner should not stand on the other end which is at distant, but he  or she should be willing  to help bring down any problem to an end. Ecc.4:9-12

 

CONTROL

1Co 7:5…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

  • There’s not just a limitation but a need to control. One must not go beyond the limit.
  • Loving is not lusting.

 

CONTENTMENT

1Co 7:7  For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. (1Co 7:17  But as God hath distributed to every man)

  • Husband and wife is a gift from God. It is your proper gift. You must be content with what He already had given you. This concerns how you value each other
  • God was not mistaken for giving her/him to you. He knows he is exactly who you need to complement you, to complete you. If  both of you treasure each other as God’s gift, then no one and nothing can destroy your marriage

 

CONSTANCY

1Co 7:10  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled toher husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

  • This concerns faithfulness. No one is allowed to leave her/his partner
  • God designs their marriage forever. If one is leaving the other one’s goal is not pushing but to bring her/him back

 

CONDITION

1Co 7:11  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled toher husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

  • Marriage has ups and down. The expression “But”  and “If she depart” concerns a space. But in cases of breakage or pressure ,one is allowed to depart, but chance is considered
  • He/she must remain single, or they must reconciled and accept each other

{in the case of an unbelieving partner constancy is encouraged yet still with conditions-12-15}

 

CHANCE

1Co 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

1Co 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1Co 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1Co 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1Co 7:16  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thyhusband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

  • There are some cases that believer and unbeliever were given to marriage. In that case they still have a chance. Both have a chance to keep it going, have children. And if they chose depart God allows it because they are not in bondage to such case.

 

CHILD REARING

1Co 7:14  … else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

  • The responsibility in bringing up children is for both. Your son or daughter is not just given to the wife alone, nor to the husband alone. They were given to both of you

 

CALLING

1Co 7:15  … but God hath called us to peace.

  • God is the one who called both of you in marriage and there must be no unresolved issue, no war but only peace, but not silence on both part.

 

CHALLENGE

1Co 7:26  I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress

1Co 7:28  But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

  • “Present distress” concerns a challenge. Both should consider that entering marriage life has a risk, a risk to face troubles in the flesh, a difficulty of adjusting  in the curriculum of to the new university
  • Both are required to endure the test of life

 

COMMITMENT

1Co 7:27  Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed

 You are bound with a marriage cord. You cannot see it so you will not break it. God’s law requires your commitment to your relationship and no one should seek against it

 

CARE

1Co 7:33-34  But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world,how he may please his wife.

  … but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

  • Both should goal to care for each other, to please each other, to provide for eachother
  • Wife cares to Husband first before kids, before in-laws and before work. So does the husband to his wife

 

CONCENTRATION

1Co 7:35  And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

  • The focus of one’s life is to attend upon the Lord without distraction. Both partner must have this mindset. Apart from the Lord their marriage is useless. To please Him is our first goal before pleasing each partner

  

CONTRACT

1Co 7:39  The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; …

  •  Only death terminates a relationship because it is as long as you are living. Your partnership is for life
  • As long as both are living, your only choice to be with is your partner, there must be no replacement or addition

 

CHOICE

1Co 7:39  but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

  • If the partner dies, one can remarry. But his/her choice is to marry  those only in the Lord

 

COACH

1Co 7:39  only in the Lord. (v.10)

  • Both should listen to the coach in the game of marriage. As one team you have one uniform, one identity-one name. You have the same practice, the same strategy, the same training-the same walk. You have one goal, one set plan under one great COACH-the Lord Jesus Christ. Just consider how great your coach is, you already won.

 You must have a basis too. It is 

Christ’s word, the word of God

Col 3:16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 

These are all the Conjugal we can find concerning Marriage.

To Him be the glory!

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